mclaren park, november 2019
paulina moved back to the city in november
carlos moved back before that
(but i didn’t see him till paulina came)
they’re living in excelsior now,
in an apartment we also saw on craigslist
we had an appointment for a tour
but in the end we couldn’t find any parking so we left
and now paulina and carlos live there
paulina and i take a walk to mclaren park in the afternoon
i said hopefully we’ll see a hawk
and i took her to the spot where i sat with kevin and you,
where kevin said mclaren park reminds him of la
and it’s true what he says
it reminds me of saturday morning bird sanctuary hikes
with my dad in griffith park when i was a kid
the spicy brown smell of pine needles
crunching underfoot
the massive trees overhead shift
the leaves shake and the light shimmers
the shadows rearrange themselves on the picnic tables and the ground
it feels good that paulina is back in the city
i have a friend again, sound advice
a few days ago was daylight savings
so the afternoon already seems like evening
dusky honey light casts long shadows through the park
the fennel grove i walked through in june
with kevin and you, is brown and dried up now
the licorice smell of the fennel is gone
instead there’s a murky pond scum smell
like an aquarium or an old bouquet of flowers
we walk over to the garden of forking paths
this time the grass is shorter, dry pale yellow
the wind hisses and whispers through it
the world seems bad, we say as we walk back home
to paulina and carlos’ apartment
unrest in hong kong, they want freedom from china
police brutality is on the rise
don’t even get me started on our government
we walk along the sidewalk along other people
coming from work, going to the dentist,
picking up chicken for dinner tonight,
kids walk by in school uniforms
and the man who owns the market
nods at me as we pass him outside
surveying his melons and bananas and tomatoes
inside hanging are huge piñatas for sale
fill them yourself for your party
or we can fill them for a little extra
the shiny silver foil tissue paper kind
many pointed stars
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